"When in doubt take a hiatus"
I'm not sure I've ever actually heard someone utter this ambiguous phrase, but when I returned to my neglected macbook pro with the intent of blogging I couldn't think of a more conclusive reason for my prolonged abscence. Sometime last year my so-called fashion-style-blog had made the transformation from beloved friend to a nearly unrecognizable foe. What was once a sort of diary, a collection of my deepest sartorial yearnings and representation of who I wanted to be, now seemed nothing more than a gossip rag feeding off my embarrassment and exposing my most awkward moments. Subconsciously, I changed from a fashion-infatuated girl to the unbecoming image of an attention whoring blogger.
I found myself losing track of who I really was, instead paying more attention to how many posts I blogged per month or perusing the trends as represented on hundreds of personal style blogs. I reposted image after image of popular editorials, all of which would soon, if not already, find their way to every fashion-enthused blogspot, tumblr, and wordpress address. I was lost in a sea of fads, but more sadly I found myself moving further and further away from respect, betraying my childhood hopes of becoming a maverick and failing to be a true individual.
I began my blog with aspirations of becoming a journalist, but the truth is there was very little writing to be found on my blog, and when my own words did manage to garner space they were dispersed between other people's images that often times contained more weight and meaning than my few self-penned blurbs on my outfits. When re-read these words seemed desperate and carelessly strung together, as if I didn't take myself seriously. I was an average girl trying to be cool, and neglecting my own taste and personality along the way. My blog was nothing I intended it to be, instead incarnating everything I unknowingly held in contempt.
If you've read this far, you're probably wondering why I've taken to a blog, the very outlet I've just ridiculed, to express my distaste for typical fashion blog format. Why am I willing to once again place myself amongst the masses of the blogosphere and be yet another .com? I won't deny my hypocrisy, but I also cannot deny my desire to further explore the fashion industry via the most accessible means I know: the internet. My hope is stay true to myself and my intuitions, to not follow the route of the tried and true style blogs, and instead strive to be something different.
